What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
