Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize