I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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