Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
