Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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