too bad you live with your parents still
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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