how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
