do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
