When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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