Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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