i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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