My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
