My pussy is not your playground.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
