based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
