i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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