come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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