dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
