What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
