I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
