Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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