I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
