Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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