...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
