so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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