Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize