I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
