we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
