you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
