just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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