why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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