I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
