garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
