If i come over, it means nothing
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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