i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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