my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You're breaking my sexual little heart
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
