I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
