Me. At least after what I've been through.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
