worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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