we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
