yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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