What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
