she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
