is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
