I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Drake has all the answers
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
