after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
