So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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