ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
