Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
