your parents love me but you hate me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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