Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
