At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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