My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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