i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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