she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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