my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize