I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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