I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
