What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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