Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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