His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My ATM looks so different sober.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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