Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
