How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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