got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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