I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
