He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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