I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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