I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
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