I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
