we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
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