And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
my poor anus
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
